Ex Won’t Give Me Child’s Social Security Number: What Can You Do?

Navigating co-parenting situations can be challenging, especially when communication breaks down and critical information is withheld. One such issue that can arise is when an ex-partner refuses to provide the child’s Social Security Number (SSN). In this article, we’ll explore the implications of this situation and discuss potential courses of action for parents facing this dilemma.

Introduction: ex won’t give me child’s social security number

A child’s Social Security Number (SSN) is a crucial piece of information that can impact various aspects of their life, from education to healthcare and financial matters. When an ex-partner withholds the child’s SSN, it can create a complex and distressing situation for the other parent. Let’s delve into the steps parents can take when faced with this challenge.

The Importance of the Child’s Social Security Number

Use of SSN for Various Purposes

A child’s SSN is used for a wide range of purposes, including tax filings, educational records, medical appointments, and government benefits. Without access to the child’s SSN, the other parent may face hurdles in providing the child with necessary services and benefits.

Legal and Financial Implications

Lack of access to the child’s SSN can lead to legal and financial complications. It may affect the ability to claim tax credits, secure medical insurance, and access government programs that require SSN verification.

Communication and Cooperation

Open Dialogue with the Ex-Partner

The first step should involve attempting to resolve the issue through open and respectful communication. Express your concerns to your ex-partner and emphasize the importance of sharing critical information for the well-being of the child.

Mediation and Conflict Resolution

If direct communication proves challenging, consider involving a neutral third party, such as a mediator or family counselor, to facilitate productive conversations and find common ground.

Legal Routes to Obtain SSN

Custody Agreement Provisions

If you have a custody agreement in place, review its provisions regarding the exchange of important information, including the child’s SSN. If the agreement mandates the sharing of this information, you may have legal grounds to request it.

Seeking Legal Assistance

If all else fails, consult with a family law attorney. They can provide guidance on legal avenues available to compel the ex-partner to share the child’s SSN, if necessary.

Protecting the Child’s Privacy

Ensuring Data Security

When you do obtain the child’s SSN, it’s crucial to handle it with care. Keep it stored securely and only share it with trusted institutions or entities that require it for legitimate purposes.

Child Identity Theft Prevention

The child’s SSN is sensitive information that can make them vulnerable to identity theft. Stay vigilant and educate yourself on measures to protect the child’s personal and financial information.

Exploring Alternatives

Temporary Identification Measures

While working to obtain the child’s SSN, explore temporary identification measures that may be accepted by certain institutions. Some may allow alternative forms of identification for a limited time.

IRS Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN)

In situations where obtaining the child’s SSN is proving difficult, you may explore the option of obtaining an ITIN from the IRS. This can help ensure that you can file taxes and claim deductions that benefit your child.

Documenting Efforts

Keeping Records of Communication

Throughout your attempts to obtain the child’s SSN, keep a detailed record of all communication and efforts made. This documentation can be valuable if legal action becomes necessary.

Consultation with Legal Experts

If the situation becomes legally complex, consult with legal experts who specialize in family law. They can provide personalized advice based on your specific circumstances.


In conclusion, the refusal of an ex-partner to provide the child’s Social Security Number can pose significant challenges to a parent’s ability to fulfill their responsibilities and secure important services for their child. It’s essential to explore communication, legal avenues, and alternative solutions to address this issue while prioritizing the child’s well-being and privacy.


  1. Can I legally request my child’s Social Security Number from my ex-partner?
    If you have a custody agreement in place that mandates the sharing of important information, you may have legal grounds to request the SSN.
  2. What should I do if my ex-partner refuses to communicate about the SSN?
    Consider involving a mediator or family counselor to facilitate productive conversations and resolve the issue.
  3. Can I apply for an ITIN for my child if I can’t obtain their SSN?
    Yes, you can explore the option of applying for an Individual Taxpayer Identification Number (ITIN) from the IRS.
  4. How can I protect my child’s SSN from identity theft?
    Handle the SSN with care, store it securely, and educate yourself on identity theft prevention measures.
  5. What legal measures can I take if my ex-partner continues to withhold the SSN?
    Consult with a family law attorney to explore legal avenues available to compel the ex-partner to share the SSN.